On The Importance Of Coaching

Everyone can benefit from having a coach. If you want to be the best possible version of yourself, you are going to need all the help you can get — it takes a lot of work to become the best you. And a coach can give you the outside perspective that you are missing.

The coaching relationship forces you to be accountable. If you say aloud that you will do something, you are more likely to do it, especially if you have follow-up meetings with your coach and you will have to tell them about the work you are doing and the progress you are making. A good coach will ask "what did you accomplish since our last meeting?” and “what do you hope to achieve next?” These little milestones add up.

Discussing the route up a boulder.

My wife has always been fascinated by clusters of success — great musicians or authors or inventors or philosophers who seem to grow up together or know each other just as their careers are beginning. (A favorite example of this is The Beatles and Eric Clapton — friends who all turned out to be incredibly talented and famous — what were the odds? and why?) I don’t think this phenomenon is an accident. Driven and talented people are able to push each other, motivate each other, help each other through hard times. This kind of coaching is very powerful.

What kind of coach do you need? One style that I recommend, because of the ease of access, is a peer coach. If you are working toward a particular goal, I recommend that you look for a friend or colleague who can become your peer coach. Here are some things to think about as you start a peer coaching relationship:

·         What is your goal, or what do you want coaching on?
·         Who do you know that can meet with you in person, online, or over the phone for 30-60 minutes every week?

A lot of getting what you want is simply about showing up and putting in the time. Check out the blog post from a few months ago, Always Training, which explains the attitude that I’ve adopted for constant improvement.

Your peer coach will be there to help you through the good times and the bad times, cheer you on, and steer you in directions that you may have overlooked. One style of peer coaching, which I’ve adapted from Mike Rother’s Toyota Kata is simply to guide the learner through these five questions:

·         What do you want to do?
·         Where are you currently?
·         What is preventing you from achieving this goal?
·         What’s the first thing that you would like to work on?
·         And when can we see when you’ve accomplished this?

If you work with your peer coach every week using this tool, I guarantee that you will see results.

And remember, as I said in the post, Keep Goin’, you have to make it fun. You don’t need a Russian figure skating coach that shouts at you, “Do it Again! Again!” You can achieve a lot of your goals just by making yourself accountable to someone else.

I’ll talk more about the expert coach and the benefits in the next post, but for now, find a peer coach and get started.

Own the Clothes

If you had asked me 10 years ago if I would have an MBA, wear suits or a tie every day, and be starting my own corporate empire, I would have laughed. But here I am (well, we'll see about the corporate empire, but I'm on my way).

Graphic button by marketing genius Michael Brooks

In addition to positive thinking as a method to manifest your reality, dressing for the role you want plays a large part.

I’m going to give a shout out to Ted Ladd, our Entrepreneur faculty at the Bainbridge Graduate Institute, who always tells us to "own the close" — to wrap up a presentation or speech with a strong finish. I am rebranding this powerful statement for my own purposes. I want you to "own the clothes."

I want everyone to overdress for the occasion, to wear their most professional or appropriate or attractive attire when giving presentations. Hell, even if you are just getting milk at the corner store I think you should look good — you never know who you might see.

If I give a speech in old jeans and a ratty t-shirt, will I get the same response as I would if I were wearing a suit? Of course not!

Over the years I have felt firsthand how people treat others based on appearance. I tried to fight social conventions for many years. But I eventually decided that I needed to change, because I do it too — it’s human nature. When we see a person for the first time, we make a lot of almost unconscious assumptions about what they have to offer, based on their dress and grooming.  

In junior high and high school I had long hair, I wore flannel shirts and sloppy cardigan sweaters. I was voted Most Unique. I went to Evergreen State College, which is full of all kinds of wild individuals. I was a dirt-bag climber for years. But after I got married, my wife threw away all of my clothes and bought me new ones. It was in this moment that I realized just how good I could look. I cut my hair and shaved off my filthy chin beard. And to my surprise, people began to approach me, talk with me, take me more seriously.

When you look good, you feel good about yourself.

You don’t have to make a deal with the devil to do this. I absolutely believe that there is a way to retain your personal style/ brand, while dressing professionally. It’s not as bad as it sounds.

My wife introduced me to the show What Not to Wear, and I absolutely believe in the positive message and transformation that they are able to provide for the participants. They teach us that by changing how we present ourselves to the world, we can change how the world views and treats us, and ultimately we can change how we think and feel about themselves for the better.

Despite what we might tell ourselves, appearances do matter.

Put on a suit or a tie; try a dress or a skirt. Be different — be professional — be yourself.

Own the Clothes!